Of Giving and Gifts

The Magi followed the star, found the Child, bowed down and worshipped. The Message, in Matt 2 says, "Overcome, they knelt down and worshipped Him."  Then they opened their treasure and presented the Child King with their gifts.

After their long journey in search of the newly born King, they worshipped. And they gave.  It was the overflow of their joy. Overcome, they gave their treasure away. 

We all have treasure. Everyone. It may be the kind we think of when we hear the word treasure, gold, precious stones, hard cash. But we have other gifts to give to our King. We have  talents, abilities and skills to great or lesser degrees. We have time and energy; we have our bodies, our hearts and our minds. What we have to offer is different for everyone. We are all uniquely and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) 

So do we do we give out of duty? Or do we give because we are overcome with the joy of knowing Jesus. Does it overflow out of the delight of spending time with Him. Of being full to overflowing with the goodness of His Presence, His grace in our lives? God wants us to give, out of gratitude. 2 Corinthians 9:7 says God loves a cheerful giver,  not one who gives under compulsion.  We can't muster up cheerful giving apart from finding Him. This only leads to resentment. Only in finding our ever Present God, in knowing Him and His great love, can we give cheerfully to Him.

There are other issues, questions I need to ask myself.  Am I giving to Him or am I giving, trying to please others? Or am I holding back, keeping my treasure to myself? Or am I holding back thinking that what I have to offer isn't good enough? Do I compare myself to others?  Good hard questions.

I want to learn to give freely and not worry about if what I give is good enough. I want to  trust the outcome of my giving, like letting a bird go and watching it fly away, never knowing where it will land. I want to set it free for the joy of watching it fly. What I have is Yours Lord!

I do seek Your Presence, Lord. I want to be overcome with the joy of knowing You. I want to offer my treasure as overflow, given to You with unabashed love and joy. Thank you Lord, for being the King who Shepherds my soul. The One Who loves me, just as I am.

But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, 

are by no means the least among the rulers of Judah;

for out of you will come a Ruler 

who will be the Shepherd of my people Israel.

Matthew 2:6

Through Locked Doors

John 20:19. One of my favorite passages. He came to them. They were behind locked doors living in fear and anxiety. They were scared, confused.

Jesus came. 

He stood among them.

"Peace be with you!"

And then He showed them His wounds. It was Him! Joy!

It was all true. He had spoken to them in the upper room about this. He had promised. He reassured them that every thing would be alright.

John 14:18 "No. I will not abandon you as orphans; I will come to you."

John 14:28 "...I am going away and I am coming back to you."

John 16:16 "In a little while you will see Me no more, and then after a little while you will see Me."

John 16:20 "You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy."

John 16:33 "I have told you these things SO THAT in Me you may have peace."

Over and over again. He told them. He prepared them. To trust Him. To have peace. In Him. He knew they didn't understand. In John 16:16:18 the disciples said, "We don't get it." What an understatement. They kept asking all the wrong questions. Yet Jesus was so patient with them. He gave them explanations, promises, His words to remember. It would all become clear in time. They would remember what He said. And they would learn to trust. 

What was it that He promised? It was the promise of His Presence. To never to leave or abandon them. He came and stood among them.

They were still in the school of Christ. They had a steep learning curve. As I am. How much of what I learn from Him, I just don't get. How much more peace and joy would I live in if I just trust His words? All my questions are probably 99% the wrong questions. Thank you Lord for Your patience with me. Thank you that You come to me over and over again. Thank you that there are no doors that you won't penetrate in your pursuit of me. 

They were overjoyed when they saw it was Him. It was really Him. He had conquered death. The promise of joy was theirs.  Thank you Lord for your Presence. Help me to live in Your way. I thank you for your love and your grace. For joy. Unspeakable joy.

The Big Picture

 "If we let Him go on like this, everyone will believe in Him, 

and then the Romans will come and 

take away both our place and our nation."

 John 11:48

This was the religious folks talking here. The ones in charge of the things of God. They were so far off base they were plotting to kill the Son of God. I never could understand how they thought this would work as this was actually on the heals of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. It just shows how blinded we can become. It is the epitome of religion gone bad and the world reeks of it.

It is a reminder that I need to walk closely with the Lord, listen intently, and hold loosely to all things. It is all His. His place, His nation.  That is where they got it wrong. They thought it was theirs. They had themselves comfortably ensconced in their own little kingdoms. They worked hard to keep the status quo. All in the name of God. They lost sight of the big picture even when He was standing right in front of their eyes.

There is a big lesson here.  We need to remember Whose Kingdom we live in. Whose we are. That is actually, the wonderful part. As His, we can rest. There is no striving. We can trust we have a good Shepherd Who provides good pasture for us. He determines the pasture, and we certainly don't own it. We just know that the Shepherd has our best interest in mind. He is our provider. Always.

God help me to hold loosely. To be working and resting with You in all I do. With You and not for You. To know when to let go and when to hang on.  Give me wisdom Lord. Thank You for being my good Shepherd. Thank You for Your guidance, Your leading, Your great provision, and Your amazing love.

Searching for Jesus

John 6:22-24. A funny little passage of scripture this morning. A transition really.  Almost a throw away. Yet it spoke so much to me. Such is God's powerful Word. Not one word is without meaning and life. 

Jesus has gone off to be alone. The disciples are out in a boat. Those are the big stories, chocked full of miracles.  This is about the crowd that was left behind. And then they realized something.  That alone made me pause.  What do I need to realize? What are those seemingly insignificant moments I need to realize, to pay attention. Those moments filled with the Presence of God.  I am reminded of the quote by Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

Earth's crammed with heaven, 

And every common bush afire with God: 

But only he who sees takes off his shoes.

The earth indeed is crammed with heaven. That is why I am working on slowing down. To take notice. Take off my shoes and enjoy! To give thanks, as Jesus did when He was about to hand out the loaves to feed the 5,000 before they ate and were satisfied. 

I guess what struck me this morning is I need to realize what Jesus has done and what He is doing even right this second.  Am I present in the moment to see, to realize that He is at work, He is always at work, as He points out in John 5:7? Jesus said to them, "My Father is always at work to this very day, and I, too, am working." Our Lord, our Creator, the Lover of our soul in our midst, always at work. What an amazing reality! Do I realize it? Do I live like it? In the mundane moments? The stressful times? The times of questioning and of suffering? Do I look? Do I look hard enough? Do I slow down enough to see? Do I take time to give thanks?

The crowd went searching for Jesus. I look too.  I'm working on slowing down. Being present. Trying to be as helpful as He would have me be and not more. Obedient, living in His love. I fall short, struggle and strain. But Lord, You are so faithful, patient, forgiving and kind to me as I seek your Face.  

I praise you for Your loving-kindness. Demands clamor at me. Life is full of tricks and turns. Heartache. Distraction. Lord, You see. You see it all. You hear the cries of your people.

Have mercy Lord. Have mercy on us as we are lost without You. Thank you for hearing me. For being with me, always, to the end. Help me to remain in You, as You are never far from me.

He Is More Than Enough

"They were completely amazed for 

they had not understood about the loaves; 

their hearts were hardened."  

Mark 6:52 

That is the story of the loaves and the fishes. At least today it is, for me.  The story of my hard heart. Why do I forget about God's faithfulness? The ways He has rescued and redeemed my life? How He has answered prayer and spoken to my heart? How long until I trust the compassion, the provision, the personal direction He so graciously provides?  How long am I going to waste time and energy lingering in doubt, looking at problems and the things that lack (even within myself) instead of coming to Him and trusting that He has all things well in hand.  When I learn that, I will be walking in the joy and strength that resting in Him provides. The amazement will be about how it is all about Him and so not about me! With Him nothing is impossible. Jesus said this after He calmed the storm, after He fed the 5,000.  He is amazing.

When He fed the 5,000, He used His disciples. He walked them through the whole thing.  He had them asses what they had on hand and He asked them to bring the 5 loaves and 2 fish to Him.  After giving thanks, He gave them back and had them distribute it to the masses of people. It was a partnership, a work done together. It says that He directed them.  He wants to use us too. To direct us into the work He has in mind for us. The result? They all ate and were satisfied.  They didn't get just enough to curb their hunger until they got home, they were all satisfied.  Jesus doesn't do things half way does He?

So the lesson today (tho this passage has many) is I need to come to Him with what is going on. And let go of all of the issues that prevent me from moving forward, doubts, fears, insecurities, the things that distract, marginalize, even paralyze me. I can bring these things to Him, let them go. And then offer Him what I have and trust Him to use me in the ways that He sees fit. The key is coming to Him and allowing Him to direct me as best I can. I leave the outcomes, the results to Him.  Not easy but always good.

Lord, forgive me for dwelling in places of doubt, for not trusting you with my life, my time. Lead and guide me.  Use my life, messy as it seems.  Thank you for the joy and strength that comes from that.  Help me to walk the long obedience in the same direction, one step at a time.

Blessed are those whose strength is in You, 

who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

They go from strength to strength, 

til each appears before God in Zion.

O, Lord Almighty,

blessed is the one who trusts in You.

Psalm 84:5, 7, 13

With Jesus

Mark 3:13 "Afterward Jesus went up on a mountain and called the ones He wanted to go with Him. And they came to Him. Then He selected twelve of them to be His regular companions, calling them apostles. He sent them out to preach, and He gave them authority to cast out demons." 

This is the way of Jesus. He calls us to be with Him, to be His regular companion. When we are with Him day in and day out we see how He does things, we see His heart toward us and toward others. This is the Way of discipleship. Being with Jesus. Everything else flows from there. 

He called a group of men. They formed community around Him. There was companionship, fellowship. They walked with Jesus together. They learned together. We see times of confusion, competition, all the human stuff. But Jesus used it all to teach them to live the way of faith, of love, of holiness. How to live His kingdom lifestyle. Community is important.

This is the practical way of Jesus. Ongoing and relational. Us with Him.  He calls us and we come to Him. Day by day. The invitation and the choice. The first disciples who got to live with Jesus in the flesh are gone now, but now He calls us. He calls me. Same call. "Come! Be with Me."

We so often get caught up in the project, the business and forget to spend that time with Him. We are so darn capable. But did we spend the time with Him? Are we joining Him in His work or are we just doing our thing? Did we just launch out on our own? We often get too busy to be with Jesus, not understanding the vital importance of being  Him with first. Its all His work. He lives outside of time and space. There is always enough time for Him, wherever we go. He wants us to come to Him. That is the first thing first. Everything else is secondary.

It is a beautiful plan, this plan of God's. His invitation stands. Lord, I pray I heed your call, and come....to You. First. Day by day. Minute by minute. Always.

The Dance

I get insecure.  Especially when I have to speak in groups.  And other times. Exodus 4:1. Moses. "What if they don't believe me or listen to me...."  God's answer? "What is that in your hand?"  That's it. That's all He asked. Moses was holding his staff so God told him,"throw it to the ground." That was Moses's part. That was all God asked of him.  Just take what he had in his hand and throw it down. God did the rest.  It is God who does the work, the exciting stuff, the live altering, the miraculous. We are merely asked to offer what we have and then trust Him to do the rest.  So simple. 

Okay, so what gets in the way? Me! I think I have to do it all. I think I need to have it all figured out. And really all I have to do is my little part, with what I have and what I know. Listen to Him and trust Him. He leads me and He will do what He wants, when He wants and how He wants. And He gets all the glory. I know when it isn't me, when I am following His lead! So I am learning. To do my part.

I am learning to dance. To dance with the Father. To let Him lead. To let go of the outcomes, let go of the struggle. To enjoy the steps, the music, the joy of being with Him. Held close. Is it easy? Not always. Sometimes the steps are complicated. But I am realizing that I just need to throw down what I have, as inadequate as it may seem, and He does the rest. I can trust Him to follow through in His way, in His timing. I lean into Him, keep my eyes on Him and He takes care of the rest. Learning the dance takes a lifetime. He is a patient teacher. The awesome thing? The dance is for eternity.

From this morning's reading, a beautiful tribute to our God Who hears and answers the cries of our hearts.

You answer us 

with awesome deeds of righteousness,

O God our Savior,

the hope

of all the ends of the earth

and of the farthest seas, 

who formed the mountains by your power,

having armed yourself with strength, 

who stilled the roaring of the seas,

the roaring of their waves, 

and the turmoil of the nations.

Those living far away fear your wonders;

where morning dawns and

evening fades

you call forth songs

of joy.

Psalm 65:5-8